So…. I am a HUGE hater of bullying.
I have always, ALWAYS, considered myself to be kind and decent to people. I can’t even stomach witnessing someone being verbally bullied in an adult environment, let alone kids playground (same thing to be fair).
Bullies are (in my opinion before you comment/go mad & attempt to sue me for a comment “Bullies Not R Us”) weak, struggling personally, and allow their own insecurities to lash out at others. They don’t appear capable of accepting other peoples happiness and lives. They like to “put you down” and upset your emotional confidence.
Therefore…I have done something, I’ve never, ever, done since starting this site.
I reacted to an Internet troll who attacked the Ex-pat way of life. Yes, I DEFENDED EX PAT LIFE. Madness.
I apologise in advance, before you read this, for sounding like a complete hypocrite. I just cant help but get infuriated at comments that are made, simply to antagonise, get a reaction (this one did), and…to be fair… if people can pass judgement on who I am, why the hell can’t I fight back?!
FYI – HK ID card from Wikipedia added above to make my barrage of words look less “wordy” and more visual too. NB. There is NO WAY the bird in the photo above is born in 1968!?
Anyway….going back to Interet Trolls and random, unknowing, judgemental comments that I’m sure more Bloggers are used to by now. I however, am not. I like to be “liked”! Its nice to be thought of in a good way. However, I dont like to be “judged” or “bullied”. Nope, never happening.
Sooo….please see a charming “internet trolls” comment below.
“Cheri’s Comment” (again, below!)….was one, and only one, brief, pathetic, sentence. While I’m almost sorry for acting like a sanctimonious bellend, sometimes its necessary to verbally slap a bully. AND, I just couldn’t help myself this time. I tried to leave it….honest!
Comment made by Cheri…. “CHEER THE FUCK UP AND BE GRATEFUL”.
MY RESPONSE BELOW:
“Dear CHERI (your name screams Vegas stripper btw)…
The fact you’ve, somehow, in your troll-like state of mind, stumbled through the maze of internet search engines (shocking you can spell) to get to my blog…surprises me.
Normally I encourage those less able, yet you’ve excelled in finding my site, AND passing comment. Not only have you unfortunately attempted to undermine me, but your comment, which I’ve actually accidentally overlooked for a while (due to the amount of NICE comments I filter through) was, I have to admit, amusing as hell! Its almost like being attacked in the playground by a 6 year old boy (normally with a “Mohawk” haircut), keen to get a response, and out of pity, I’ve now decided to give you one (a response that is).
I’m guessing you were a lonely (despite “trying soo hard to have friends”), heavily moustached, possibly thin/thick set, lone, bully at school, no friends, experiencing issues with social inadequacy, lack of confidence and probably some form of body dysmorphic disorder (google it luv).
You may also have had Middle child syndrome (although you’re probably an only child, lets face it as I’m a “middle child” and LOVE that excuse alone to guilt my family into doing stuff for me!)? You are generally internally angry due to your possible, open, vile, toxic internal contempt, and disgusting inability to connect with other human beings? You HAVE tried to make good friends but people just seem to….hmmm….DISLIKE you for some reason? Your family pets probably recoil and hid behind furniture whenever you walked in the front door…they already knew the tragedy you were/would inevitably become. I bet you attempted to be good at maths (or chess) due to the solitude that gave you, away from socialising with people in general, therefore making you unattractive in all other areas of your life because you lacked anything remotely kind within yourself. I’m also guessing any form of human interaction that’s fun or involves laughter breaks you out in an uncomfortable sweat? Whatever your very clear personal lack of mind-set is/was/will always be….I HATE BULLIES SOO MUCH and I’m soooo grateful, you sent me such a trivial, albeit, quite disappointing, remark.
YOU have taken the time, in your obviously important nirvana like state/life, to comment in a vacuous, undercut, insolent manner (google the words as I cant possibly imagine you appreciate the meaning of anything Ive said). You have read a few segments, of a strangers blog, then judged all of us Hong Kong ex-pats on our lives.
WHO TOLD YOU TO KEEP READING?? Why didn’t you just flick onto your normal bestiality website and leave normal discussion, to like-minded, good people?
Your plain, meaningless (attacking) comment means what? Exactly? We should be ashamed we don’t/didn’t enjoy the luxurious, tax haven we lived in? Are we not allowed to comment on anything, in case we appear ungrateful and elitist?
Do you think your brief rude, attempt to patronise, will have ANY lasting impact? Which, yes, I know its ironic that I’ve taken the time to respond now…. BUT…the only reason being…you’ve just demonstrated a massive component in why ex-pats are struggling (especially stay-at-home parents) with their new lives abroad. YOUR judgement, and “CHEER THE FUCK UP” mentality, is a clear issue in the ex-pat community and has created an obvious divide in peoples thoughts when talking about the “Gweilo” way of life.
You’re a “hater”.
A pissed of human either:-
(a) working and annoyed your spouse isn’t…yet still hitting Wan Chai nightly for copious amounts of booze, lap dances and ego stroking.
(b) Not working, and just trying to create conversation as you’ve got no friends aside from your helper (& lets be honest, she’s plotting her escape back to the Philippines/an Chai/Half Way House/Your husbands “Lock Up”, as I write).
(c) You don’t even live in SE Asia but like to antagonise and pass judgement simply because you’ve got nothing better to do as youre out in the countryside somewhere milking cows, or catching buses and feeling angered by our blatant disregard for what should be “happiness”.
(d) You’re a Helper…. kicking off with verbal abuse simply because “Maam” asked you why you were having a swim (in her swimsuit & 5 carat diamond earrings) at 11am, when clearly an 8 month old child had been left alone, to fend for themselves on the 80th floor of their block. But as you feel, shes such a RICH BITCH Ex-pat, you turn her frustration into Middle Class guilt, and blatantly pretend you don’t understand “what the problem is M’aam”. Therefore, alas, your employer lets you have a swim while she rushes off to make you lunch to show how “cool and unaffected” she is/hoping a real trusting friendship will finally begin….since you do look after her child ‘n all. You already have decided all Gweilos are “spoilt” and will punish anyone who crosses your path.
(e) You’re a man AKA you posses a Penis, pretending to be called “Cheri”…in which case…genius, and thanks for the content in any event.
This site has, and was, started, simply to express my take on life in Hong Kong. You do KNOW that people who write books, talk, teach, preach, and follow a religion, ALL HAVE A RIGHT to do that? This site has an open approach to like-minded, NORMAL, people who are free to feel as they chose.
Your attempt…albeit sooo pathetically put in a childish attack to disparage what ex-pats are feeling, just because YOU feel we should “CHEER THE FUCK UP AND BE GRATEFUL”, illustrates SO CLEARLY, what a closed-minded idiot you are. ITS YOUR KIND THAT IS CREATING ISSUES FOR HUMBLE, NICE PEOPLE, trying to get some form of real perspective on Ex-pat life.
Who made you the Preacher of what Ex-pats should/shouldn’t feel? And who gave YOU permission to judge me, or ANY ex-pat on how we are living?? It is YOUR sort, with your pre-judgement, sat in your tower, spewing shit, who are creating a “Cheer the fuck up” hostility.
If more than a few hundred people feel unsettled in a new environment, in a new country, like normal ex-pats are currently struggling with, then its a FACT. We are here to support each other. To express natural concern and thought. Your sort is NOT WELCOME ON MY SITE AGAIN.
I don’t know a single person in Hong Kong who ORDINARILY lived in the lifestyle they were suddenly thrown into living. Our open issues with it, are possibly a plethora (look it up you dumb fuck) of feelings and guilt for “larging it”. I grew up in a small flat. I couldn’t and still can’t, get past having “help”. Nor do I want to. My choice.
I’m bored of attempts by people like you, with judgemental messages that seem to be written simply for a reaction. The reason I HAVE reacted this time is because youve proven a point. Its people like you, Western and local HK residents, who attempt to undermine anyone who complains about missing home, or not enjoying what seems like “paradise”. Hong Kong is NOT paradise. Fact.
Get a life and get the FUCK OFF MY SITE.
What I write, in jest, or truth, is my choice.
You’re clearly a controlling, incapable, emotionally cold human (if that). Trolls who attack for no apparent reason don’t affect me. I’m assuming you’ve got zero friends, a dog that hates you ( you probably kick it when you walk in the front door), and family that had to move miles away from you, just to get some normality, without feeling guilty for showing any signs of happiness.
My blog has always been written in jest (you freak), and is something I suggest you think about in your own padded cell, judgemental, bitter world.
I wouldn’t ordinarily give someone like you (with limited vocab/lack of empathy/clear wind-up merchant) the time of day. BUT subjects like yourself, who feel sooooo important, that you felt the need to attack ANY ex-pat, struggling to settle in, for whatever reason)…. get a life. Who CARES what you all like to judge and feel? We don’t judge people like you all the time as we have LIVES to moan about. Like NORMAL people do.
Next time, I’ll reveal your IP address just so your neighbours know the ignorant bully living next door, is full of contemptible BS.
Any questions? Drop me a line. I’M DYING TO KNOW WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE.”
Why? Well… when you have THREE KIDS …its a pain in the vagina (literally).
Plus… zero thank you’s make me an angry woman. I’ve been cooking, drinking, eating…judging… judging some more….. but… Im such a dumbass…Ive not logged anything.
I’ve had “three baby’itis”…. i.e.. I can’t do shit and all I want to do is sleep. SLEEEEEEEP. Yes, I have help. Get the fuck over the Help situation people. I HAVE HELP AND I AM STILL FUCKING TIRED. WHY??? WHY O WHY AM I STILL TIRED??? I AM SPOILT. I WANT TO SLEEP. I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEP. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE EVERY CONVERSATION I HAVE INVOLVES EXPLAINING, WHY, IM SOOOO FRIGGIN TIRED????
WE ARE MUMS AND WE ARE TIRED. YES… ok… we have Help…so we can’t open our mouths and moan as much…BUT…. we are tired!!!! IM TIRED!!! its not like I can hand over my 2 month old baby to someone, and say “ok..Im off to bed”. Thats not how it works in my world. I hand over baby , then I watch what is going on, the SAME AS IF I WAS LIVING AT HOME WHATS different? We pay help here. PLus, we abuse family at home and we don’t/shouldnt do that here. Legally anyway… people frown on that shit. I do.
I ‘ll tell you why I feel sooo bad every time I want to relax……Guilt.
I ring home and my conversation goes like this…
“I know I have HELP….but I’m soooo tired”.
Friend, “Oh, hon its sooo easy where you are, you spoilt bitch. Get over it. You over botoxed, wierdo. I barely get to the bus-stop without my kids being difficult. You are soooo lucky and spoilt. SPOILT. Where IS your husband this evening? Is he out AGAIN??! You are such a whore!!”
Me..”But I’m soooo tired”
Friend….”But you have LIVE IN HELP…you are a spoilt whore who has no concept of reality. Get over yourself. Silly cow. I had to wake at 10am on Sunday to deal with my 18 year old son and his 15 year old crack addict girlfriend. My Mum was already in Wandsworth prison so it was I, dealing with my kids…. I went to prison on Sunday to collect them. You are soooooo spoilt by being so easy with your kids and having help. Gosh. I couldn’t imagine having anyone in my house ever….. judging me. ” Oh FUCK OFF YOU JELOUS ARSEHOLE.
Me: “but, did I mention, Im sooooo tired… since I got home from Bali? My villa had no live-in staff or anything. I had ONE massage a DAY!! “
Friend: ” You are a fucking arsehole who has been indulged too much. Go fuck yourself. Darling.”
Friend again… “Do you not recall when you were a young student and ran out of toothpaste and asked me to loan you money, just so you could buy Tescos own brand?”
Me...”(a) It was CONDOMS not toothpaste and, (b) lending me 50p is not a huge hardship. What the fuck is wrong with you lately??”.
Friend…”Oh you have soooo changed since you arrived in Hong Kong. Like you’re better than us or something…”
Me: “Are you fucking kidding me?! You are such a let down as a mate… “.
If you think that us “stay at home, lazy arse mo-fo-wanker-Mums-with Help” do fuck all…. you’re having a laugh. Do you know how much GUILT is involved in leaving the kids, even for a 10 minute coffee trip to meet a friend? I don’t even LIKE people.
BUT, I am sooo desperate to leave the house and be normal, I go for coffee. I DONT EVEN FUCKING DRINK COFFEE. Im a tea person….OK…thats a lie…. I’m obviously a Vodka/Wine/Champagne person but thats not the point.
FYI CAPTAIN…. I DONT DRINK COFFEE. Its been nearly 10 fucking years. I don’t have sugar and I don’t drink coffee. Yet, still… you ask me if I have sugar with my coffee. No sugar. No coffee. * Sorry….just needed the old balls and chain at home to get that tiny piece of information stored for future reference.
My recent conversations have included….Oh…”wheres your 9 month old baby boy?”
My reply..” She a girl and she’s nearly 14 months”.
“Oh… how are ALLLLL your children?”
My response…”in the loving arms of my helper…who they now refer to as “Mum“.
If I was at home, the kids would refer to the help (Grandma) as “Satan”. But, no. Here I am a spoiled, manicured, idiot, who has 3 kids, 2 Helpers, 1 husband, a lover (yeh right…as if I have time.) and all I want to do…is fucking sleep. SLEEEEEEP. Be alone. Read a friggin $80 magazine (seriously… why do the good magazines have to be sooooo bloody expensive here? Yes, they are imported but its not like they’re flying First class for fucks sake). Sit in a dark room with a Cosmopolitan, read a book/mag/watch porn… not talk to anyone about nappy rash/people/husbands/helpers/helpers doing our husbands…. and breathe….
Also, do I write about how much I HATE the bullshit that occurs at school when I collect the kids? NOOO. Ok yes, sometimes. Its sooo fucking boring, I would rather stick needles in a taxi drivers foreskin. Do I write about how much I HATE being a Housewife that needs to explain what I do daily? NOOO. I DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. Yes… I have lost the will to live.
I have …..BECOME MY MOTHER.
Do you know what? Fuck It.
I LOVE being a parent (most days). Yes, I have HELP here. SOOO WHAT?!?! I’m not going to be an idiot and say “Oh no I would rather do it all myself“, especially when we can actually afford Help here. This is what living in HK is about. If you want to judge, fuck off my site and go write about this shit somewhere else.
I arrived here… all…“oooh… its soooooo not me”…. and now…. if i could take back every stupid word I said, I would. Life here is MADE for women, and men.
I LOVE HONG KONG…put that on a bumper sticker.
I HATE parent chit chat at school (Im sooo bad.. no one even knows who my kids are… they are usually amazed that I have 3…) I HATE the MOTHERHOOD group. I AM SHIT AT THIS. I am sooooo awkward….and far too sexy for this stupid group.
The convo at school collection goes like this…
“oh HI!…how are you?” (Mum to me….never the other way around. I actually act as If Im really busy on my phone, sending important texts to my Helpers about washing and food).
My response: “yeh…fine. the usual hangover day. you been working out or something?”
“OH YESSSS (telling EVERYONE WHO IS ARRIVING AT THE DOOR IN CASE WE DONT HEAR THIS MUMMY)…”IVE BEEN DOING YOGA. I’m training to be an instructor. Im also setting up a fine needle company where I import needles from other countries that you just can’t get here”.
My response…. “WOW” .…thinking…. “Get the fuck out my face crazy needle import lady. I just fell asleep while you were talking to me”…
How DARE these women who WORK OUT during school time… make ME feel bad because I GO HOME TO BED. YES, I SLEEEEEEP people. I go home and instead of writing lists, emailing people, talking to the Captain, harassing my Helpers, negotiating stuff….I GO TO SLEEP. IM SOOOO Tired.
These little people (the kids I mean), who are in our lives every day (with HELP!!!), exhaust me. I feel guilty when I brush them off, I feel great when I do stuff, but mainly… I just want to sleep. I want to sleep ALL the time!!! Im a bad person without sleep. I do bad things if Im tired like not speak, moan, drink, cry, and eat chocolate. I love my kids…. but sleep…. we all need friggin sleep people. I can’t explain how tired I am.
Thank fk for great Helpers here who act as are our Aunties and Mums at home. Be kind and nice to them, like you are at home… and its all fine. Im not here to moan about our Helping angels (much), but I am bloody, exhausted. And, I HAVE HELP!!!
Ok, Im off to sleep now. May have a bottle of red to ease me in…
ps. The photo of the bird on this post was from a stupid “sake” evening in Kyoto, Japan. Google trip advisor and look for my comments. I was not very nice….