Its been a looooong time coming ….

Dear all

i want to thank you for all the emails & messages chasing me on updates, recipes, helpful, yet totally un-pc, ways of dealing with various HK issues. These all important queries, such as where to hide ones Domestic Help after you’ve smuggled them into the UK will be answered in depth after the never ending, lest we forget (?) enjoyable, Xmas holidays are over.

I mean, its bad enough having to run around Christmas shopping & trying to locate Frozen Disney outfits (The Captain cant seem to get enough of that Disney marvel we all know & love/hate, before breaking out into song….. “Let it go, let it go…..” I’m also searching for a huge  Spider-Man toy. My son wants the “real one, not the toy Mummy”…. Errrrrrr so do I Son, so do I… Now fuck off & stop picking your nose all over my once lovely furniture.

Not only is December shit because I’m stuck in Catholic, Muslim, Jewish confusion (Catholic school, Muslim folks, Jewish kids & old man), but this is also a horrible time of year for those of us who have lost a family member. Xmas time is always another milestone for many & my Dad LOVED Xmas as it was our time to cook together (he was a Chef) & get merry (we both drank ALOT while prepping the Xmas meal for 50 local Iranian “friends” & family who would pop by at any point that day. Anyhow…. That’s my deep thought of the day covered. I’m still in denial & would rather bury myself in Xmas shopping hell than proceed along this train of thought.

Sooooooo…..Its been quite possibly the MOST unexpected year of my life & ive got tonnes to report. Some parts will piss the usual Internet trolls off …. Like how i think we may all have misjudged HK Killer (& mum of 3) Nancy Kissell too quickly……bring it on trolls/haters. And some parts, like my oh-so-mutha-fucking-simple recipes (including how to slowly poison ones husband) will soon be written up & out there for the sharing. Just please be responsible & don’t print off recipes your kids can read people as I fucking love to swear like any fucking exhausted pissed off mum-of-3 does. Be fucking diligent!

Ive missed you all in HK but holy shit people, wait until you hear how things work hereimagein shitholio London (previously referred to as “my beloved London”). I was, of course, wearing blinkered glasses at the time of my old statement, smeared in vodka & emotional delusion. I had no idea what reality really was until this year…

Anyhow….. I’m back & ready to share from next month.

Get your cosmos (or Whisky’s) ready ….. I’m about to piss everyone off….and I can’t fucking wait.

ps. Hope all your kids are well?!

Pps. We HAD to go and buy a fucking bitch of a dog (yes she’s cute but why do I need to clean up more shit on a daily basis than I already do?!!) photo above of our puppy at the start of last year after a 20 minute walk where she attempted to hump anything that moved. This included a squirrel which i recorded & posted on youtube. Dogs are apparently like their owners…. Horny frustrated bitch then 😉 don’t judge people, you’ve all got scary dark shit hidden somewhere in the darkest depths of those closets.

Have a wonderful Chrismukkka!!!!! I like to refer to this once enjoyable festive holiday as “Hell”…

About Sharzad Hime-Michaels

A (40++) Punk “wannabe”. SW15 London born/bred, Kind (‘ish), Strict (normal) “parent“ of 3 children under 18 (twins included). Divorced. A great cook. Shockingly argumentative after 9pm on a Monday evening...

5 responses to “Its been a looooong time coming ….”

  1. Cheri says :

    Cheer the fuck up and be grateful.

    • fruitlessbloom says :


      Dear CHERI (sounds like a Vegas stripper/cheap escorts name)…

      The fact you’ve, somehow, in your troll-like state of mind, stumbled through the maze of internet search engines (shocking you can spell) to get to my blog…surprises me. Normally I encourage those less able, yet you’ve excelled in finding my site. Not only have you unfortunately attempted to belittle me, but your comment, which Ive actually overlooked for a while (due to the amount of NICE comments I filter through) was, I have to admit, amusing as hell. Its almost like being attacked in the playground by a 6 year old boy (normally with a “Mohawk” haircut), keen to get a response, and out of pity, I’ve now decided to give you one (a response that is).

      I’m guessing you were you a secluded, heavily moustached, possibly thin/thick set, lone bully, at school, experiencing issues with social inadequacy, lack of confidence and probably body dysmorphic disorder (google it luv)? You may also have had Middle child syndrome (although youre probably an Only child, lets face it)? Generally angry due to your possible, open, vile, toxic contempt, and disgusting inability to connect with other human beings? Your family pets probably recoiled and hid behind furniture whenever you walked in the front door…they already knew the tragedy you were/would inevitably become. I bet you attempted to be good at maths (or chess) due to the solitude that gave you away from people in general, therefore unattractive in all other areas of your life because you lacked anything remotely kind within yourself. I bet any form of human interaction that’s fun or involves laughter breaks you out in an uncomfortable sweat? Whatever your very clear personal lack of mind-set is/was/will always be….I HATE BULLIES SOO MUCH and I’m soooo grateful, you sent me such a trivial, albeit, quite disappointing, remark.

      YOU have taken the time, in your obviously important nirvana like state/life, to comment in a vacuous, undercut, insolent manner (google the words as I cant possibly imagine you appreciate the meaning of anything Ive said). You have read a few segments, of MY blog, then judged all of us Hong Kong ex-pats on our lives.

      WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO KEEP READING… you weirdo?? Why didn’t you just flick onto your normal bestiality website and leave my pearls of wisdom alone?

      Your plain comment means what? Exactly?

      Do you think your brief judgemental, rude, incapable of being patronising due to lack of education/ability, clearly disconnected, words will have an impact?

      This site has and was started, simply to express my take on life in Hong Kong. You do KNOW that people who write books, and teach, and preach, and follow a religion, ALL HAVE A RIGHT to do that? This site has an open approach to like-minded, NORMAL, people who are free to feel as they chose.

      Your attempt…albeit sooo pathetically put in a childish attack to disbarage what ex-pats are feeling, just because YOU feel we should “CHEER THE FUCK UP AND BE GRATEFUL”, illustrates SO CLEARLY, what a closed minded idiot you are. ITS YOUR KIND THAT IS CREATING ISSUES FOR HUMBLE, NICE PEOPLE, trying to get a perspective on Ex-pat life.

      Who made you the Preacher of what Ex-pats should/shouldn’t feel? And who gave YOU (a no one) permission to judge me, or ANY ex-pat on how we are living?? Tts YOUR sort, with your pre-judgement, sat in your tower, spewing shit, who are creating a “Cheer the fuck up” hostility. If more than a few hundred people feel unsettled in a new environment, in a new country, like normal ex-pats are currently struggling with, then its a FACT. We are here to support each other. Your sort are NOT WELCOME ON MY SITE AGAIN.

      I don’t know a single person in Hong Kong who ORDINARILY lived in the lifestyle they were suddenly thrown into living. Our open issues with it, are possibly a plathora (look it up you dumb fuck) of feelings and guilt for “larging it”. I grew up in a small flat. I couldn’t and still cant, get past having “help”.

      You are a Pathetic, unkind, insensitive person. I’m fed up of the stupid, judgemental messages that attempt to filter through to undermine people who want to discuss or feel theyre not wrong, in their present state of mind.

      Get a life and get the FUCK OFF MY SITE.

      What I write, in jest, or truth, is my choice.

      Youre clearly a controlling, incapable, emotionally cold human (if that). Trolls who attack for no apparent reason don’t affect me. Just go elsewhere. I’m assuming you’ve got zero friends, a dog that hates you ( you probably kick it when you walk in the front door), and family that had to live away from you, just to get some normal laughter and non-judgemental aggression in their faces. My blog has always been written in jest (you freak), is something I suggest you think about in your own padded cell world.

      I wouldn’t ordinarily give someone like you (with limited vocab) the time of day. BUT subjects like yourself, who feel sooooo important, that you felt the need to attack me (or ANY ex-pat, struggling to settle in, for whatever reason)….go fuck yourself and get a life.

      Your name alone screams “Notice me…I’m Cheri and I’m a complete wanker for attempting to bully people, going about their every day lives. They look happy. I need to piss on that!”

      You need to get a life and next time, I’ll reveal your IP address (I’ve got it) just so your neighbours know the ignorant bully living next door, is full of contemptible shit.

      Any questions? Drop me a line. IM DYING TO KNOW WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS ARE.

    • fruitlessbloom says :

      ps. I was the one who gave you a “thumbs up”…just because its soooo exceptionally amusing. pps. if my Mum wrote this….Ill be round for dinner at 8!

    • fruitlessbloom says :

      Cheri. Ive responded to you via my last blog. DO me a favour pls (I’m polite see) and STEP UP. I’m not bullying you here, I’m just keen for you to back up your comment. Looking fwd to hearing from you soon.

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