Strokes, family, life…

Yes yes yes….its been a while since I’ve moaned my not-so-skinny post-baby arse- off about something but here it goes…..

How many of you out there are having a SHIT time as I write??  And by SHIT I mean seriously “I can’t look at my partner for one more minute” SHIT??  I know people right now who are experiencing SHIT on a different level to ever before.  Is it because we are older??? Is it because of our growing age that things have become more shit and people we care about are becoming ill?! Whatever.  We are growing old. Fact.

Someone pour me some wine and lets chat about this shit now.  While I’m still wearing incontinence pants (with my Spanx) and can remember the year i gave birth to accidental number 3 (yeh she was an accident, so what?!)…8 weeks ago for anyone who gives a rats arse.

I have experienced THE most horrendous crap in the past 12 weeks that would ordinarily drive me to a rehab clinic …. eventually…because I also fucking love booze (alcohol for you non english readers).

I’m moaning (again), as I have just returned for London after spending 6 days and nights with my Dad. He has suffered a major stroke.  My cute, adorable, flirtatious (with the nurses) Dad, has lost his sight and short term memory.  They don’t even think this is the BIG ONE.  Therefore…another stroke is lurking somewhere.  In the meantime, I have been sat in St.Georges Hospital in Tooting, London, trying to work out who’s his favourite child .  He tells us all we are his “favourite” but when my brother sneaks off to ring his local loan shark, Dad leans in and tell me “Its always been you beautiful”. Just to break my heart.  How did life suddenly become so fucking real?

I’ve not only left my 2-year-old crazy twins behind in the land of HK, but also my newborn baby girl who is now starting to call our nanny “Mummy” (I’m sure).  Living abroad is great but when the shit hits the fan and you need to get home, quickly, its fucking horrible. I couldn’t just jump in my car and head  straight to the hospital.  No. I had to wait 24 hours for a free flight back home (Airmiles) that didn’t break the bank, so I could see my Dad.  He had a stroke.  And now, he can’t see and can barely hear.  His current state means, he’s confused, scared and wondering where he is.  He also asks all the time “Where are my wife & kids?”  We are there every day…..but his short-term memory has gone.  This is a man who used to party hard and owned a well know restaurant for celebs back in the 80’s and 90’s.

I know it seems my blog has turned into a site of doom and gloom recently and if anything, encourages people like me to moan my arse off and drink even more.  I am so fed up of being told to rein it in when I have a drink.  Or told that i “embarrassed myself” the night before after 15 bottles of White wine on Tesco Special (they don’t sell Tesco here btw). Whatever! People, friends and always family, I DONT GIVE A SHIT.  It has been one of those tough years where one must rise up, dust your maternity pants off, and start again.

Im so done with apologising for how I need to live my life to people who really don’t care about me.  I’m a fabulous mum, I  whip my domestic helpers arse non stop (legally of course) so that we are all doing our jobs properly and are happy with it. And I get on with them great too.  I’ve heard some HORRIFIC tales but this is not what this tale is about.

Today…I had an insight into the meaning of life.  It’s this (and listen closely)…..enjoy every fucking minute.

Don’t fight over the small immaterial things like laundry, shopping (I HATE shopping btw), messiness…etc. Do not sweat the small stuff. Live your life as if it were your last day.

No more complaining, no more fights over car journeys, lost kids backpacks,/shoes/suncream/washing/cleaning/tidying (everytime I leave the kids with the Captain, something goes missing!?)……lets just go for it Mums and Dads. Lets try and make this shit work.  After all…. this is what we always wanted right?  Family, fella, fucking…..kids?!

Sorry…..im clearly depressed but thank you for all your lovely messages & words of wisdom. Ive ignored them all and decided alcohol in the evening is better than any medicine.  Vodka ANYONE SW HK ISLAND?!!!  Email me and I am there…with bells on … and a Filipino driver I stole from some rich arsed wanker who lives on The Peak (posh expat area up in the hills of HK).

ps. Doesn’t the surgeon in the clipart above look like he’s rolling a spliff?