Archive | April 2012

When it rains, its really pisses down

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I am sooo fucking angry right now.  Thanks to months of catching coughs and colds, as well as various other viral illnesses from her playgroup, my gorgeous little girl (AKA “the favourite” according to The Captain), is in Hospital. This, I believe, is all thanks to some arsehole of a mother taking her sick child to playgroup and infecting my entire household.  Not only is Favourite child ill, but so is my son and newborn baby (who we keep forgetting about as she’s soo quiet. oops).

Why do some people think its acceptable to just rock up with their sick toddlers and infect everyone around them?!  It’s really pissed me off.  Not only that, but we have been in and out of hospital & Doctors, for the last week, until my daughter was admitted yesterday.  Where are we?  The Matilda Hospital, in a VIP suite as they’d run out of normal rooms.  If it was just me in hospital, this would actually be a welcome break from the chaos of my home, but as it’s for my little girl, I’m gutted to be back here. Plus I can’t sit around drinking wine to pass the time as I doubt the Doctors will approve of my parenting skills (although my daughter would have hours of entertainment because I’m clearly hilarious when drunk).

Those of you who live in Hong Kong will no doubt be aware of the prescription medication that is given freely for any ailment.  I personally like to ask for as many sleeping pills, painkillers and Valium as I can get before they cut me off.  In fact, I’ve even made up claims of depression, insomnia and emotional issues of various kinds just so I can get the legal drugs.  Hey, its my life so stop fucking judging me!  However, when it comes to our children, us parents tend to err on the side of caution.  Things like drink driving with the kids is a big no-no (unless you’re in a rush and forgot to pick them up from school), feeding them out of date food and refraining for slapping other people’s children if they upset yours on the playground.

Anyhow, when our daughter began getting symptoms of a bad chest infection, I went to see our local GP, who is great. She prescribed some antibiotics but asked to see her again in a couple of days as her oxygen levels weren’t up to scratch. Well, by that evening, her temperature had shot up to over 39.4 and after shitting myself, I drove us both to the Hospital in our PJ’s….. me in a silk negligee with maternity jeans and my daughter in her Cinderella PJ’s with matching tiara (what can I say, we like to make an entrance).  All joking aside, the poor little tinker was in a terrible state and the Doctor on call ordered X-rays which confirmed her serious chest infection.  The following day showed no improvement and we ended up back at the Hospital to see their pediatrician on call.  Nb. As it’s the Easter Holidays, everyone has buggered off in HK and our own paediatrician (Dr Thondup – who I love & is a bloody good laugh) is away until next week.

So, in walks this “pediatrician” (I write him in quotes as I’m not quite sure if he really was, because he was complete and utter shite). This guy, who was approximately 15 years old (ok, 35) and dressed from head to toe in designer gear (the Dolce & Gabbana logo printed across his shirt was a big give-away…so fucking tacky)… really annoyed me from the minute he opened his gob.

For a start, I couldn’t understand half the crap that was coming out of his mouth because he kept talking about case studies and basically quoting things he had clearly just studied from books. His accent also resembled Fraanks from the film, Father of the Bride.  I kept asking him to repeat what he was saying as it just wasn’t making any sense to me and for a while I thought I was just being a dumbass for not understanding. He then started to explain to The Captain & I (while our twins ran around causing havoc and trying to break anything they could get their hands on), what he thought was wrong with our daughter.

After approximately 45 minutes of him  droning on and using the word “OK” during EVERY single sentence, I stood up and said I needed to go home.  The Captain, in the meantime, looked at this Doctor and after his long diagnosis said, “So…errr… I’m confused. What exactly is wrong with our child?? Does she have asthma, pneumonia, an infection?! What??”

T he Doctor decided this was now a time to start drawing diagrams and asked the Captain if he had done biology in school.  What a fucking twat.  By this stage, the twins were going insane with boredom (as was I) and we had no faith in this guys diagnosis.  He then prescribed antibiotics (knowing full well our daughter was already on a different batch given by our GP), as well as then telling us, she would be at risk going home because her lungs could collapse.  Basically, this absolute imbecile scared the shit out of us.  We left the hospital and vowed to run if ever we got that idiot again.

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We then went home and sat watching our daughter like she was a ticking time bomb that could go off any minute.  I also got fuck all sleep that night and was ready to start using all my prescription pills if necessary to numb the pain, as alcohol was out of the question in case I had to drive to a Hospital again.

The next day, I went back to my own GP and within 30 minutes of her doing normal tests associated with chest infections (checking oxygen levels, taking swabs for influenza etc), she was on the phone to a top paediatrician (Dr Mark Chan) and had us admitted into hospital that day.  What a wonderful lady and a true professional. She did not scare the crap out of us, like the idiot we had seen the day before. Nor did she start drawing diagrams and talking about case studies performed in the US back in 1968.  She spoke in layman’s terms and I knew we were in safe hands.  If I was a lesbian, she would definitely be in my top 5 shag list.

The moral of my brief tale. Get a second and third opinion if something doesn’t seem 100%. Just because they are Doctors does not necessarily mean they are always right (negligence cases prove that) but also as a parent, go with your instinct.  We are now getting the right care in Hospital and my little girl is starting to recover her strength thanks to an IV drip and oxygen.

I on the other hand, will be needing some serious booze and drugs to recover from this latest episode.

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Are your kids constantly ill, catching coughs, colds, chest infections…?

Since arriving home from the wonderful Matilda Hospital, and somehow surviving the last few weeks on nil sleep…. one thing I keep coming up against is the amount of times my twins are catching colds, chest & ear infections, croup, Roseola…the list goes on and on.  What have I noticed during this non-stop invasion of sickness in our home?  That when my healthy little munchkins go off to school, some arsehole is sending their VERY sick coughing/coldy kid into the same classroom as my 2 year olds.  That child then plays with everything mine do and invariably covers the entire play area in germs… before wiping his nose with his shirt or hand, to stop  the streaming bogies from hitting the floor.

Now WTF??!  Why do some parents think its OK to send their snotty nosed, coughing-up-phlegm, kid to school so they can infect everyone else’s children , and eventually their entire household??  When either of my children are even a little ill, I don’t send them to school to contaminate everyone else.  I keep them home and get them better. Yes, its a pain in the arse to be alone all day doing entertaining stuff with your children but I’d rather they were kept away from the endless germs mine pick up in HK playgroups.  Its really pissing me off.  A sick child must stay at home to recover and get better. NOT dragged out to a playgroup so they can make everyone else’s kids ill too.  Its not fair!!

I may even start naming and shaming on this site (actually forget that, I can’t handle all those ill people coming after me to fight their corner….too many germs floating around).  The point is this.  Since my children began playgroups and nursery, which they really love going to, they have been ill CONSTANTLY.  Yes yes, they’re twins so of course I’m bound to get it harder than some, but now we also have a new baby in the mix and the poor Lamb can be heard sneezing (kinda like a polite mouse) in her Moses Basket.  So now my 6 week old is sick too thanks to the constant germ invasion the schools, nurseries and playgroups like to pass around.

Sick_children : Flu Prevention Poster/Sign

In HK, my kids nursery in Tai Tam, have staff standing at the door taking everyones temperature and spraying sanitizer into everyones hands as we walk in.  Why O why, do they not stop those snotty nosed, eyes streaming with cold, clearly sick to their gills kids?   It is the schools responsibility to tell the parents/nanny to bugger off the minute they show up with a sick child.

Seriously?!  Its driving me mad.   I have written and spoken to the Principal at my twins school about this and yet still, despite letters home to all parents telling them to keep their kids away if they are sick, SOME people KEEP bringing them into school/playroom/parties/the clubs…just to get everyone else sick so we can wallow in their pain of endless nights awake checking temperatures, going to the Doctors and worrying ourselves to death.

We recently went to a 2 year olds birthday party (I drank my way through any booze I saw to numb the pain…despite judgmental glances from some tight arsed Mums) where a Mum from my kids nursery (a repeat offender), had her son basically spreading his germs EVERYWHERE.  Now, the Captain is not the most shy person and he actually turned around very loudly and stated quite clearly (for a cockney accent); “keep the kids away from that boy, he’s very ill”.  This was after her son had been coughing non-stop into my sons mouth.  As they are both only 2 years old, they don’t understand the shit that happens when they get ill ie. Mums life becomes hell.  Anyhow, The Captain then turned to the Mother of this germ infested kid and asked her why she brought him out to a kids party?!  Her response?  Her pearls of wisdom on this topic?  “What am I supposed to do? Keep him in all the time?”.  ERRR….yes you silly fucking selfish bitch.  Thats exactly what you should do so he can recover too.

Now thanks to her, my entire household has come down with an illness, including my 6 week old baby.  I just spent the evening at the Adventist Hospital (both mum & child dressed only in our PJ’s) who are consistently good in my book, and was told my daughter has a severe chest infection which we have to watch over the next day or two, otherwise she will be admitted to stay overnight.  SHES ONLY TWO YEARS OLD!!

(a) I can’t leave my baby alone overnight in a hospital, so I will be staying too, (b) my newborn baby at home has barely seen me these last few days as Im trying to keep the germs away from her, and therefore she has now started calling our Helper “Mamma”, (c) my son also has an ear infection (picked up from his playgroup buddy) and is ill at home. He’s got a bad temper at the moment so we’re all tiptoeing around him and trying to knock him out with drugs until he feels better.  The Captain, is out of the country.  Sooo…after explaining all of this to a Doctor, who I think fell asleep mid explanation, I decided to come home and wait it out. Which means nil sleep for me tonight while I constantly check temperatures on my 3 kids and pray we all make it outta this hell!!

A glass of white wineI cannot wait for the next few weeks to be over, and then I will return to drinking and having some bloody fun if it kills me.  I want nights out with the girls, getting drunk and falling off bars from dancing in my too high heels.  I want to get arrested and call the Captain giggling from  a Chinese Police Station for being so drunk I forgot where I lived and fell asleep in someones tent under the HSBC building in Central.  I want to go dancing in my highest sexiest heels until I can’t dance any more, and I want to fit into my old clothes NOW.  Not in 6 weeks. NOW!!  (nb. the baby weights almost gone. Just 6 more lbs…which are stubborn little bastards to get rid of).  I want to have sleep again, go out drinking until the sun comes up. Sleep all day and order takeaway from my bed.  Why can’t I do any of this??  BECAUSE I HAVE 3 KIDS (4 if you include the man-child Captain).  The guilt alone never lets me stay out past 3am.  But watch this space….

And in the meantime, what will I do next time I see someone at school with a sick child, I will (a) smile politely and strap masks to my kids faces HK style while saying VERY loudly “DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR THOSE INFECTED CHILDREN” or, (b) turn around and have my kids miss a morning of playtime because some Mutha  fkr insisted on bringing her sick kid to playgroup.  I’ll then wage a silent war on this cow which will involve me turning up at her home with all three of my sick children in tow, just to drop something off and infect her entire house.


I would highly recommend going to Dr Thondup at Bank of America Tower for the kids.  He’s an absolute Magician and knows how to interact with any child.  He also gives Injections in a way  that the children have no idea its actually been done.  I wish he would do my shots too!

Dr. Sophia Kennelly is based in Repulse Bay Medical Centre and she is also my favourite GP and is also hugely helpful with the kids too.

For emergencies though, like this evening, The Adventist Hospital is quick and efficient.  Theres rarely been long waiting times there of more than 15 minutes.  I was in and out (with scans too) within an hour.  Heres hoping our home will be free of illness next week! Otherwise, I’m going back on the alcohol wagon ….just to take the edge of this hell.


My Mothers words of wisdom to me about the whole sickness debacle, before she headed back to the UK this morning were: “This is real life my Darling, just reeeeelaxxxxx & don’t drink too much”.  I almost punched her which was kinda hard as I was holding her ankles and begging her not to leave me in this hell.  The poor cow has had the worst holiday in HK due to our entire home being ill and my own mum getting a horrendous flu.  She must have been gaging to leave!  The minute her Car arrived to pick her up for the airport, she sprinted to her seat , buckled up faster that Ive seen her move all holiday, while shouting “Go Go Go!!!” in Chinese to the Driver.