Archive | January 2012


Four weeks to go until the baby arrives and what am I doing? I’m moving apartments in 3 days to add to the stress as I clearly have too much time on my hands.  Not only that but the twins as well as our useless Domestic Helper (no.1, of our now 2 home employees) have come down with colds (well she gave it to the twins which really pisses me off).  Sooo, I’ve been packing boxes, sneezing from dust that appears everywhere, dealing with twins who wont sleep during the night as they are both bunged up with mucus (yes, I have slanted both their mattresses at an angle to help them breathe easier). 

All i keep thinking about is how much I can’t WAIT to stay at The Hotel Matilda ( AKA. Matilda Hospital at The Peak in Hong Kong).  I have already told family to stay away for the first month so I can recover and I’m actually looking forward to staying in the hospital to escape everything/one for a few days.  I need some SPACE!  I’m actually going mad not being able to drink with all this stress going on.  I’ve even started reading a book on HOW TO QUIT ALCOHOL (yes, yes I’m clearly  depressed) just because I’m worried that my drinking will return with a vengeance once this baby arrives.  I don’t know how else to remain sane otherwise doing the same thing day in, day out.  I managed to quit Smoking after being a 20 a day Silk Cut addict for over 10 years.  I never went anywhere without 2 packs in my handbag, especially if I was going out drinking with the girls after work.   When I read Alan Car’s book “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking”, I just thought I’d try it out for a laugh.  It was my final year at University and a friend recommended it to me. Well….. after reading his book, which basically tends to repeat regularly about the cons of smoking, despite encouraging you to smoke throughout, I quit smoking.  And didn’t miss it one bit.  Not even a craving.  Genius!

So when I mentioned to that Captain that I am reading a revolutionary “Stop Drinking” type book, he looked at me with worry.  Despite his moaning and hopes of controlling my substance abuse, I think he quite likes me being that crazy fun outgoing party girl, just to a certain degree (ie. he’d like me to stop when I approach the “falling over stage”).  I explained that as I may go nuts after giving birth to this third child, especially if I’m stuck indoors all day doing Gina Ford routines and having no sleep.  Someone asked me recently if I’ll breastfeed and I told them that “no, I wont be”.  It interferes with my entire life (drinking/going out/exercise/sleep/etc) and I can’t be stuck indoors for months boob feeding when I can bottle it and go out.  It didn’t harm the twins, so hopefully it wont harm Baby no.3, although our food and Baby Milk Formula costs will reach new heights once she comes along.

In addition, for those of you who do your food shopping in Hong Kong, you will be fully aware of the cost of milk, nappies, food, anything!!!  Everything costs triple what it does in London.  The Captain keeps moaning about lack of food, bread, cheese etc in our house.  The fact of the matter is, we go food shopping every 3 days and keep running out of stuff.  Plus our two Helpers can’t seem to work out that maybe they should purchase other things we need when they pop out, rather than get home and say “Oh sorry, we need Washing up liquid and eggs”.  I’m starting to lose my cool with them as I can’t understand how a person doesn’t think to put that sort of thing on a list.  I always go through the shopping list with them before one of them heads out the door and I’ll ask if there’s anything else we need.  The response is always “no we have everything”. But lo and behold, the next day we will need a whole batch of crap.  The kids are also addicted to yogurt and cheese which means buying these every 2 friggin days.

The Captain also complains about the quality of things we buy from the Supermarket but as I explained, if we go local, our shopping bills would be minimal, but I’ve no interest in eating local food or produce.  I want nice Juice, Cheese, Organic fish/Meat and Organic spreads. But this all costs double the amount.  Why can’t we just have a bloody Tesco here like back home!??  They even have one in shitty Thailand for crying out loud!!  Thailand also has Boots which I wish we had in HK.  It would piss all over Mannings and Watsons!

Anyhow, the Captain has also started a new line of non-stop moaning about the toilet tissue we buy, despite me explaining its only to wipe his precious arse with (plus I buy 2 for the price of 1).  His argument is that as he “works so bloody hard”, he wants something soft, ideally with Aloe Vera and quilted too, to gently wipe his bum (which is a non-stop farting machine all year round) ….I handed him our wedding certificate.

Photo taken from the site –

FIVE weeks to go…

Yes yes yes….. I’ve been slack and not written one g-d darn word in aaaages.  If I wasn’t so fat and pregnant, I might actually care, but to be honest, I’ve been too friggin exhausted.  I actually think my kids are trying to kill me with lack of sleep too.  Plus my now 34 week belly seems to hold a massive party around midnight until 5 am when the baby kicks, dances, punches and hiccups allllllll night.  

I’m not walking around “glowing” in floaty Laura Ashley type dress which The Captain finds sooo unattractive anyway.  No. I’m running around, exhausted, screaming at The Captain and anything else that moves.  My daughter actually pointed to my stomach yesterday and said the words “Teletubby” before imitating their dance, which in hindsight resembles a waddle (like mine at the moment).  What did I do?  Burst into tears because the hormones that are raging in my body during this pregnancy are shocking.  I’ve never been one to just burst into tears openly but here I am, blubbing away at anything. 

Anyhow, this is just a quickie but I hope all your Christmases/holidays/New years were great.

Mine involved travelling to Phuket (again) for a 2 week “break” (I use that term loosely) with the family.  Yes, I still hold a huge dislike for Thailand but I never seem to win the “I FUCKING HATE THAT PLACE!” argument with the Captain.  I’m now starting to accept he has selective hearing … kinda like our Domestic Helper who chooses not to hear us when we ask her to do something that involves actual work.  

Why do I hate Thailand, and yes, I appreciate I am probably one of only a few people in the whole world that does?  Well, its shit.  Its dirty. The weathers unreliable.  I’ve had very limited decent dining experiences there (unlike Bali which is fabulous), and it just seems sooo over.  I’m afraid I’m Thailand-ist.  I just don’t love the place.  Also, packing for holidays with the kids has now become a horrendous job.  I’m soo over traveling at the moment.  I just don’t have the energy.

I spent most of my joyous Christmas “break” feeling sick, dizzy and hiding during the day in our air-conditioned villa, kinda like a Vampire.  If Alcide Herveaux & Eric Northman where there from True Blood, I wouldn’t have had an issue …I’d stay there day & night just to gawk at their man parts.  

I mean this mans body cannot be for real!?  The Captain assures me that if he too had a personal trainer (he does), time to work out (he does, albeit not during the week as one of us has to pay the bills), a strict diet with a cook (we now have one of those too, AKA, the new second Helper who “can follow recipes”), he too would look like a chiseled warewolf/Vampire.

Anyhow, back to my story, I was in fact soo ill that when we did go out for dinner with some friends, I had to leave the meal half way through and run out of the restaurant where I was violently sick, first in my Pashmina and then in their bushes right outside the front door.  What a great advert for that particular establishment eh? A big Teletubby pregnant bird puking her guts up right outside.  As I said, I HATE Thailand.  

New Years Eve was even less eventful with us heading back to the villa by 9.30m … despite the Captains pleas to stay out for longer, with annoying statements like “this is the first NYE I’ve not gone out and got off my head”.   Errr..yeh, because I LOVE to stay in when I can be out getting drunk and partying?!   So after swiftly kicking him in the ball-sack and explaining that “I AM PREGNANT & THEREFORE  AN ANGRY BITCH ALL THE TIME”, he got a clue and ordered our Tuk tuk home.  Even with all his wining and moaning about how he couldn’t believe we were going home before midnight, the man was faaaaaast asleep by 10pm in a deep carbohydrate/700g steak/red wine coma.

SOOO HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!   I promise to be back writing with a vengeance and my usual bitchiness once I pop this disco queen out of my vagina.  Actually I’m having a C-section …. that whole pushing thing is far too frightful for me darling.

* Images taken from & Pregnant Image from following link –