The Easiest Chocolate biscuit cake ever!


This is by far THE easiest biscuit cake ever! You don’t need to bake anything and as long as you have all your ingredients ready to go, it will take approximately 15 minutes to make for even the dumbest/drunkest chef.  I have had sooo many requests to make this (The Captains office asks for this weekly the cheeky gits), that it rarely lasts more than a few days. This recipe is enough for approx 25 small pieces and is divine to serve up with coffee after a dinner party. This cake keeps fresh in the fridge for about a week & its bloody moorish…. I’m eating some right now while sipping my cuppa Earl Grey (yes, Tea because I can’t have a friggin glass of vino due to being 6 months pregnant, plus it makes me retch after a few glasses …)


  • 200mls golden syrup
  • 100g cocoa powder
  • 800g Digestive biscuits, broken into small/medium chunks
  • 350g raisins
  • a wide, deep baking tray or the rubber baking trays I swear by.  These are approx 25cm wide/long & 5cm deep.  If using the rubber baking trays, I never use greeseproof paper as the beauty of those is that nothing sticks to them.  If using a proper baking tin, then you need to line your tin with greeseproof paper (tedious & annoying….just buy the rubber/silicone bendy ones….they’re brill and easy to clean).


  • Put the syrup, butter & cocoa powder (I sieve the cocoa through like I would flour to avoid any lumps) in a large saucepan over medium heat & heat everything until melter and smooth.  Don’t over stir this either but do keep an eye on it as it can burn very quickly if you’re wandering about fixing yourself a cocktail and doing your make-up. Once everything is melted, take off the heat immediately.  Put to one side.
  • Put the biscuit chunks & raisins into a huge bowl and pour in the cooled down chocolate mixture you have just melted in the saucepan.  Mix everything with a wooden spoon and make sure its all properly mixed and the raisins have spread out properly.
  • Press this mixture into your prepared baking tray or silicone tray and cover with some cling film. Then using either a plate or your hands (I use both my hands) press down firmly onto the mixture to compress it all and make sure it sticks together properly without too many gaps.
  • Leave to cool for another 10 minutes and then put it in the fridge for at least 3 hours or better yet, overnight.
* Nb. The above photo is taken of a tiny portion of the biscuit cake.

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About YYTM

A (40++) Punk “wannabe”. London born/bred, parent of 3 children under 18 (twins included). Divorced. A great cook. Shockingly argumentative after 8pm on a Monday evening...

One response to “The Easiest Chocolate biscuit cake ever!”

  1. belly fat says :

    This post could not be more right!!!

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