Easy, amazing, quick, Cheese on Toast

Ok…so… I tried this amazing take on cheese on toast.

It’s easy, so even those of you who pretend you can’t cook….well…. this is just…yum.  Hangover or not, this is lovely.

If you’re a single girl/guy, and wake to offer your booty call some breakfast before your easy lay leaves… well this piss easy breakfast of posh cheese on toast will seal the deal (for another shag), should you so wish…although, lets face it… when the beer goggles are off…. you can’t BELIEVE what you took home the night before.  Sometimes, even a name is a little fuzzy – oh yes, the shame.  Like I give a shit.

Anyhow… YOU MUST TRY THIS…at LEAST once. Impress guests when they stay over (add some sausages, tomatoes, bacon, a few eggs, beans…bloody fab).

BEST CHEESE ON TOAST IN THE WHOLE WORLD (CALORIFIC but worth it!) – INGREDIENTS & HOW TO COOK IT

  • White bread (as many as you want to eat).  Cheap or expensive…it doesn’t really matter… BUT….cut the crusts off (you don’t have to but its kinda nice… and a little bit… rahhh dahling yah rahh) and toast it.

  • Butter. Again…cheap or not. Up to you but spread it on the toast. Generously …. up to the corners of every slice.

  • Honey Dijon Mustard, spread ON TOP of the butter.  The sweetness of this particular Mustard makes this even more yummy.

  • Cheddar cheese (sliced or grated), thickly laid on top of the slice (or slices) of bread (the depth of half a finger I think is really enough… unless you feel like scrubbing your grill/oven after).

  • A couple of tiny slices of tomato (not a WHOLE tomato…a couple of slices from the tomato…on top).

  • Black pepper …grind it on top (and if you like Tabasco… add a drop on top of that too).

  • Place under the grill until the cheese is melted, but not burnt… I reckon, put your timer on for about 2 minutes and keep checking the grill.  You want golden, not burnt cheese/bread.

  • After, take the cheesy toast out of the oven, splash on some Worcestershire sauce (who can pronounce that properly?!) if you fancy.

  • Eat, enjoy with a hot cup of builders Tea (I love Earl Grey.. not builders tea clearly) but Yorkshire/PG Tips/English Breakfast (whatever?!)….bloody lovely AND a great start to your day.

ps. If you love Sausages or eggs, add one or two on top…. its indulgent but…it’s breakfast.

pps. If you can’t cook this… well…. shame on you.  Even a blind dog with one leg and no ball sack can cook this.  You’re just being a bit…fucking lazy.

ppps. If you worry about calories. Use low-fat cheese, low-fat butter/spread and even that horrible diet bread (I’ve not seen it in Hong Kong).  You’ll work those calories off within 3 hours of waking  (if you have twins, or copious amounts of sex).  In hindsight… if you have twins, you’re probably (a) having no sex with your partner as you’re still mortified by what happened the last time, and (b) you’re too bloody tired and want to kill your Husband.

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About Fruitlessbloom

Rock n Roll meets Martha Stewart (pre prison) ...on Red Bull

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