IVF Medication…dated Feb 2010

When I started taking Clomid 2 years ago, I did what turned out to be a 6 month course (the most you can do is 9 months although more than 3 is not recommended).  This drug can only be described (although some have said it didn’t affect them at all which I’m amazed by…and a little jealous) as “crazy juice”.

During the period I took this medication, I felt I had no control over any of my actions both emotional and physical.  My vision was one thing I hadn’t banked on losing from time to time – blurry vision, my Husband explained to me (being the diligent and involved partner ducking the flying kitchen plates) is one of the side affects.  I would be sat at my desk in work, typing away then suddenly I would feel like I’ve been staring at strobe lighting for about 15 minutes.  I can look directly ahead but both the line above and below my vision is blurry and moving (like when you’re reading in a car, or when you look directly into an Albinos eyes…not that it’s happened but I’m imagining….no offence to anyone out there reading this).  Anyhow, this constant and sudden vision impairment would make me feel nauseous and sick.  I had to leave my desk and wander out the office on those occasions for air.  Sometimes I’d just sit in the work loo.  Clearly not the nicest place but always the most peaceful when you work in sales….in fact I’m sure others nap in there after a heavy night on the Class A’s & wine.

SIDE EFFECTS YOU NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR:-

• Emotional outbursts (no reason why. The toothpaste would run out and I would cry and cry and cry….. and cry), then I’d lay on the bed and cry some more.  All perfectly normal apparently.
• Your partner will not be able to do anything right, and yet, you will be convinced they are trying to irritate you and wind you up. Convinced like you’ve never been of anything else before.  You may want a separation in the height of an argument, you may tell him he doesn’t understand (which lets face it, he probably doesn’t!), but this is all part and parcel of the Clomid being pumped into your body.
• Feeling nauseous and sometimes (ok that’s a lie, all the time) very very very hormonal.  You have no control over this.  Dont fight it.  Just understand your body is being put through its paces and needs to adjust to this new chemical in your body.
• Spots, pimples, zits….they all arrived on my face like I was 13 again (I started puberty very young…lucky me).

SIDE EFFECTS YOUR PARTNER NEEDS TO WATCH OUT FOR & PREPARATION:-

• Do not argue with your partner during clomid.  You will not win!  Although they are being sooo irrational and unbelievably insane sometimes, you must understand, this is not really the person you used to have sex with (I mean normal sex before a calendar & little “O’s” (for ovulation days) appeared to rule your life.  They are not broken and will be back to normal, once they stop the medication.  Your partner is still in there somewhere.  Those mad, crazy moments, will pass, I promise.
• On the brief mention of sex, I have to say….things will eventually go back to normal. One day…. once you conceive, or adopt, or decide against both.  We know you are not “sex machines” who can turn it off and on like a tap. that said, it’s the least you can do considering all the prodding and poking that your partner/wife/girlfriend has to endure. Yes, so it’s a little humiliating being led into a stark clinical white room the size of a broom cupboard to quickly spank off and provide a tiny amount of sperm in what appears to be a very large cup….but suck it up and do it. At least you get some nice magazines to look at without any guilt (although having a Nurse stood outside the door, alongside your wife whose wondering what you’re thinking about, while you have a quick wank, probably doesn’t help).
• Run or go for a jog when you sense an attack coming on.
• Be on hand to offer cuddles and be quick enough to duck flying objects.
• You’ll be fine!!! Even though you may feel everything is about your wife/partner as they are the ones going through it all.  We have not forgotten you.  We are just absorbed in the whole process and don’t mean to forget your needs.

NB. This post was written before Itchy & Scratchy were born. I was on fertility drugs (as well as attempting anything and everything) for nearly 2 years before the twins were born.  Joy.